He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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