They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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