I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Randomize
