I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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