This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
