But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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