you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
What a dumb baby whore.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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