STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
