dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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