I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
