his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Randomize
