Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
