tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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