I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
