She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize