I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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