You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize