I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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