i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Randomize
