If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
