All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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