I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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