I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
