Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Oh god it's open bar.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
