I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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