Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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