you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
