Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
