I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
