I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize