and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
