Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
