idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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