I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
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