life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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