Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
