Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
