All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
