hell yes lets make some ravioli
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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