I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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