Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
