Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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