never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
