Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
