RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
