blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
