btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
wow bdsm is so cute
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
