I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
