She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
