Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Just high enough for therapy.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
