wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize