I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
we made out on top of his cat.
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
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