Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
