i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
