I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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