Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
