I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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