Porn is love you can see.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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