Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
