ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
