Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
